Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
