woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
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I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay