guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.