My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun