remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.