someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
