There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Everything about him screamed your future.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
