it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
