I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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