I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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