party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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