She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I checked into jail on foursquare
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
