I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize