Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
