What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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