We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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