They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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