I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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