sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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