Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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