I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
