She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
