how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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