ugly people sure do ruin things
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
