Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
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Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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