so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
