If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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