I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
