Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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