in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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