So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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