I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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