You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
