I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
