there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
