i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
