Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
