Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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