talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
