So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
zippers are such a cool invention
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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