first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
