I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
