I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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