Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
