i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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