Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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