if i can run in heels then i can drive
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
