Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
