Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize