I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize