i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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