Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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