just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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