Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
