i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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