I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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