I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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