Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
