so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
