She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize