it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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