he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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