Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
