i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
