butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
zippers are such a cool invention
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
