Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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