i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Couch. On fire.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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